SoCalHoops Recruiting News

Parents, Players, & Coaches Gaining & Keeping
Perspective: It's Still Just A Game--(July 11, 2000)

Like a lot of you I opened up my newspapers (LA Times, Daily News) and also listened to the radio and television commentators reporting on an incident which occurred this last weekend which should have all of us, parents, players, referees, camp organizers, club coaches, college recruiters and college coaches, taking pause, if only to reflect for a moment on what kind of activity we are all engaged in currently, and what it's really all about.

This weekend in a small town on the East Coast, a father who was a volunteer coach at a local hockey rink was running a practice for some young kids, ages 9, 10 and 11.  The volunteer coach was a divorced father of three, who lived with his children and his mother.  The father had a somewhat checkered past, had his share of run-ins with the law, but had been clean and straight for the past three years at least.  He was a devoted father who gave a lot of his time to his kids and their athletic pursuits.

While conducting what was to have been a "contact-free" session on the ice, several of the players reportedly began doing some rough checking, and the parent of one of the players participating in the skate-around became enraged and attacked the volunteer coach.  Rink staff members broke up the fight, and the irate father who had attacked the coach was escorted out of the building to wait for his child.

But this irate father returned to the rink, and in the presence of these children and other adults, he beat the volunteer coach to death.   The decedent was taken to the hospital unconcious and without a pulse, and later that day was pronounced dead by doctors at the hospital.

Three players now are without a father;   the assailant, also a father of two children, has been charged with manslaughter, although it could just as easily have been a murder charge from everything we've read, and his children too are potentially in jeopardy of losing their father for some extended period of incarceration.

And for what?  A child's sporting event at which a parent became too overly involved, lost control and forever altered the lives of himself and everyone around him for the worse in a split second.

Is this what we've come to? When someone is killed because of a children's sporting event, it's time to take a good look and remind ourselves what we're trying to accomplish for our kids, and what we should and shouldn't do.

We've all been at basketball games where parents have lost control, where refs have been verbally abused, or worse. Fortunately, nothing like what happened this weekend has happened in SoCal or anywhere else in the world of youth basketball that we're aware of, and god willing, it never will.

But with the summer recruiting season now proceeding with the throttle wide-open, it's time to remember a few things:

1. This is just about kids playing basketball.   It's just a game.  And the participants are the kids, not adults who watch it, put on the games or report about someone's level of play. 

2.  Not everyone will play at the Division I level.  That's a fact.  There aren't enough scholarships out there for everyone who wants to play, and that makes people (mostly parents) become overly competitive and often delusional about their child's athletic abilities.

3.  There are only two people,    repeat  two people, who will actually ultimately determine whether your son or daughter will receive a college scholarship: The player himself and the college coach who decides to make him or her an offer.  No one else, repeat no one, will ultimately be involved in whether a scholarship is offered or whether it's not. 

    A.  The player: 

        i.   Physical attributes: A player has to be genetically endowed with the necessary athletic ability to play at the higher levels.   Not everyone is physically talented or gifted enough to play in the NBA.  Sports is truly a pyramid, and the older a player gets, the narrower the base of players is who will be able to compete.   Not everyone can be Tiger Woods, or Lance Armstrong, or Koby Bryant, and only a few will rise to that level.  It's important to be realistic about what level a player is capable of achieving.   There's no reason not to try to over-achieve, but it's also vitally critical to keep it all in perspective,  and parents need to understand that there's a difference between a high school player who is capable of playing at the Pac-10 level and one who isn't.  There's no harm in trying to achieve the highest levels possible as long as it's all kept in perspective, which means that parents have to understand that ultimately, the quest for college (except for a few genetic freaks) is truly about getting an education and not about making a living bouncing a ball.  One day the ball will stop bouncing, knees will get old, and it will be time to get on with other things in life.  It happens to all of us, at one level or another.  Keep your dreams alive, but if they don't happen, remember there are other dreams and you are all responsible for setting goals, so don't set a child or yourself up for disappointment or failure.  

    ii.  Intellectual attributes:   Players have to get it done in the classroom.  If they don't they have no one else to blame but themselves.  Parents have some degree of responsibility to see to it that their kids are actually attending school, doing homework and to insure that the school is actually doing some teaching.  Assuming all of those things are happening, if a player doesn't have the grades, he won't get recruited.   Period.   And if he doesn't ultimately learn the importance of getting an education first and playing hoops second, he's missing the boat and destined for failure in life at one time or another.  Study, learn and get the grades, then work on improving your game.

    B. The college coach:

        It's important to remember that only a college coach will make the determination about who to recruit and who to pass over.  Coaches have only 13 total scholarships, and now under NCAA rules just enacted, they can only offer five scholarships in any given academic year.    Coaches watch players, and they watch them closely, despite what some people say about what they think they've observed at some of these open-evaluation camps and tournaments.   Just watch Roy Williams attending a basketball game where he's scouting talent.  He won't talk to anyone and won't take his eyes off the prospect he's watching.   Good coaches evaluate talent properly and they use their years of professional experience, all of their teaching and their judgment to make these decisions.     They don't listen to "scouts,"  or to newspaper reporters, or to camp promoters, or internet "gurus" other than to get an opinion, or to find out about a player they may never have heard of.  But when push comes to shove and it comes time to make an offer, there's only one person making the decision, and that's the college coach who's job depends upon making good decisions.     There isn't a newspaper reporter, internet scout, club coach, camp operator, tournament promoter or shoe guy out there who will lose his job if a coach recruits someone solely on the recommendation of one of these guys and that kid doesn't make it or the team doesn't win. . . . . All that will happen if the coach recruits the "wrong" player (either wrong emotionally, incapable of succeeding academically, or just not able to compete at the level at which the school plays) is that (a) the coach will get fired, and (b) the player will have set himself up for failure.

So it's important to also be realistic about where a player can play and who is likely to recruit that player.   Most kids want to play, they don't want to sit on the bench.  Kids know generally who they can play against, and who is so much better than they are that they can't be truly competitive.  Don't set your sights on a place where your son or daughter has no chance to play unless that's what they want for themselves.   Otherwise they'll be unhappy, have a miserable college experience and likely wind up transferring and losing several years or possibly not playing ever again.

But having said all of this a thousand times before, we know that no one is going to really believe us anyway, and parents, high school coaches, club coaches and others will continue to operate under the delusion that "somebody" isn't helping to promote their player, that he's being "overlooked" or that the process of high school, club and travel basketball and recruiting is "unfair."  And they're right.  It's not "fair."  And it's not a level playing field where all the kids are the same age, of roughly the same abilities, and all in the same grade. . . . These same seniors who are all vying for about 1,000 open scholarship spots at the D-I level (and about four times that number if you count the athletic and academic scholarships available for players at the D-II, D-III and NAIA levels) are not competing just against seniors, but they're also competing against thousands of JC players, who are on average two and three years older, more mature, and physically stronger.

It's a rough world out there.  Please don't make it any rougher than it needs to be.  Keep it in perspective.  Many of the kids participating in these camps will go on to become doctors, lawyers, accountants, businessmen, coaches, and maybe a handful will actually make it to the NBA where they'll have successful careers.  And for the thousands of others playing this summer, all trying to get that elusive grant-in-aid and the chance to play big-time college hoops, well, they'll have to deal with the reality that one day they can tell their kids they got to play with that same handful of NBA stars, got to hang with them, and spend their summer just playing a game.

Some people make a living putting on a kids' game. They are excoriated and criticized for "making money" off of the kids' parents.  Everything should be free, tournament costs are too high, gym doors should be flung open and everyone given a chance to participate. . . But again, life's not fair.   Someone has to devote their time, their energy and their own money to organize the games, and that means taking on expenses, ref fees, gym rentals, incredibly expensive insurance for liability and medical protection in the event of an injury, trainers, security, and so many other items that they're impossible to mention.   So even if you think it's not "fair" that someone charges to attend a tournament, to attend a camp, just remember, they're just like everyone else, and for them it's a job.   If you weren't getting paid at your job, you probably wouldn't stay long either before looking for work in a field where you could earn a living for your family.    And if you think you can do a better job for less money, this is still America, where anyone can open a business.  But again, let's be realistic, keep it in perspective, and remember that we're talking about a game.

This is not a matter of life and death.   It's about putting a ball through a hoop.  About summer camps, having fun and learning the game.

So the next time you attend a game, whether it's at a summer tournament, a high school game, a summer exposure camp or a "big time" exposure event, just remember,  these are still kids, and they really are human beings too.  Keep it in perspective and keep yourself in focus.

Because nothing, repeat nothing, especially not a basketball game, is worth getting so upset  that a parent loses control to the point that someone is injured,  or worse.  In fact, if you stop to think about it, there's nothing to ever get upset about at a basketball game.    Don't like the call?  Fine, move on and keep your mouth shut, because the game most certainly will move ahead.  Don't like the coach?  Fine, either speak with him or her privately, assess the situation like an adult, and then make a decision to keep your mouth shut and be as supportive as you can be.  If you can't tolerate the situation, or your child is in jeopardy, don't have your child play; there are other options out there.   Don't like the school?  You have choices. . . this is California with open enrollment and thousands and thousands of public and private schools,  so either stay and make the best of what is really a brief four year high school experience, or make the decision move on.  Don't think your child is getting recruited "enough"  or at a high enough level?  Here's a thought:  Do something about it yourself:  Call the coaches at the colleges (they can take your calls anytime), write them letters,  and in short, take charge of your own son's or daughter's recruiting.   Don't think that anyone "owes" you anything,  because they don't. 

If you wanted to get a job at a company, how would you go about it?  Would you (a) sit at home by the phone waiting for them to call you, or (b) would you prepare a resume and send it to the head of personnel or hiring?  If you chose (a) then most of what we've said thus far will probably pass you by, but if you picked (b) then you know what we're talking about.  Colleges won't just come knocking on the door, and no one is going to just "see" a high school player and offer a scholarship.  Players and parents have to do something about it, and they have to actually speak themselves with the college coaches.   You don't need an intermediary, you don't need an internet site to do it, and you can't count on newspaper reporters who get 1 column inch during the high school season to mention the highlights of local games.  No one but family and friends is really going to remember those "highlights" anyway.

We've written thousands and thousands of words over the last four years (all available for searching through the archives) about college recruiting.  Use that information.  Freely. Look at the links to colleges and to the NCAA with vital stuff on recruiting.  That's what's real, not someone touting a player or criticizing a coach, a school's program or another player.  Keep it in perspective.  Learn what you can have control over and master it;  and for those things you can't control, well, learn to let go.

For many, July will seems like an interminably long month, but it's just a few days, with a bunch of games packed in to a few hours.   High school for most will be a blur, gone before they know it.  But as you trek from gym to gym, from city to city, from LA to Vegas, and back to LA, to Georgia, Philly, Florida, Virginia, Berkeley, or Portland, just remember to take a deep breath every now and then, and count to ten if you need to.  And to all the parents and adults reading this:  Please, give the kids only good, pleasant memories; they'll have enough defeats, losses, injuries and disappointments on their own to last a lifetime; you don't need to add to it by losing your temper.  Stay under control and keep it in perspective.  And to the players and kids:  Have fun and enjoy the game while you're still young enough to get up and down the court effortlessly (not like the geezers we are, which you should strive to one day become), and always remember,  no matter how crazy the older folks around you get, it's still just a game.

Later.

 
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